Discussion
During an interview Janet and I did a few months back, we were asked the question, “What would you consider your biggest failure, and how did you overcome it?” Now, this is a standard interview question; I’m sure we’ve all been asked this in some variation, and had our answers prepared to go on about our strength and resilience. But for some reason, today, my answer didn’t feel good enough, or real enough . All I could think about was me, and the times I had failed myself. It would be ingenuine, and literally just not true, of me to act like I go to school, run BB, and just have everything together. Lol, I don’t . There have been times where I failed to acknowledge my own potential, and because of it, I passed up on opportunities that could have been great for me. Or times where I acted against my own best interest, for the sake of temporary pleasures, and had to face the consequences because of it. Having things not work out for reasons outside of your control is tough, but feeling like you’re the reason for your own disappointment can be especially defeating. Setbacks are an unavoidable part of life, but what matters is how you respond. In a few of the events Janet and I have spoken at, we often end up talking about the cyclical nature of life- how our highs are followed by lows that teach us lessons before our next big high. As much as we may wish they weren't, the lows are inescapable, but you keep moving, and keep living, by not getting stuck there. Forgive yourself. This has been so important! I don’t know if it’s just me, but when I feel like I’ve ‘done wrong’, at the most random times the thought will pop in my mind and I can get very critical of myself. The sooner the past loses its grip on your present is when you can finally start acting and moving differently. When feelings of shame or guilt arise, try your best to detach from them. Opposed to feeding into them, counter them with the phrase: “I forgive myself for _____, but I’m thankful I now know better.” Find the lesson and use it, don’t make the misstep become your whole story. 2. Practice gratitude. Negative thinking has the power to consume you if you let it. Changing your perspective really does change your life. So, even when it feels like everything is going wrong, find just one thing that you can thank God for. It can be something as “simple” as being grateful for the air in your lungs or the shoes on your feet, but find something ! You’ll realize you have a lot more going for you than you thought when you choose to focus on what’s going right , compared to what isn’t. 3. Affirm yourself. Sometimes you just need to remember how powerful you truly are. Remind yourself of this as frequently as you need to. Speak life into the person that you are and watch how you blossom. It can be hard to do this, and believe it, without the results to back it up, but I’m telling you: they will follow. 4. Make a manageable start. At this point, it’s crucial to be honest with yourself. It’s highly unrealistic to realize one day that you want to make changes and expect to successfully do a whole 180 on whatever you’ve been doing up to this point. Old habits die hard . So instead, choose just one thing to start doing or stop doing and stick with it. The best way to rebuild your trust with yourself is by keeping the promises you make to yourself. The small changes will lead you to big results. Full transparency: BB has served as a source of my imposter syndrome, but it has also been my saving grace. Our content has been as helpful to me as I pray it has been to the women that view it. I’ve taken things away from posts we make, been inspired by the work we share, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been listening to a speaker and it's been just what I needed to hear. Perfection has never been the goal, but fulfillment has; and that’s why we do this and why our message is so important. During times when I haven’t felt like I'm performing at my “best”, I’ve reduced myself to wondering what qualifies me to have an organization and this platform. And you know what- why not me? When external forces have placed limitations on what and who you can be or what you can accomplish, it is that much more important to have faith in yourself, and faith in your Creator. So the next time you’re faced with disappointment and not sure how to make your next move, I challenge you to follow these steps & ask yourself: why not me? When you show up for yourself, fully and authentically, you’re always at your best. You got this, BB Girls. You are worthy and capable of your wildest dreams. I can’t wait to see you all reach them. Love muchly, Founder & BBGirl, Jennifer 💖
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